Londo Mollari (
proudambassador) wrote2011-01-23 02:04 am
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12 Purple Files - Audio Memory
[A heavy sigh is the first thing that’s heard before Ambassador’s voice speaks.]
Vir. How many gods are there in our pantheon? I have lost count, since the last emperor was elevated to godhood.
[A much younger male voice answers him. It’s nervous and anxious and sounds a little flustered.] 48. No, no, 49. 50, if you count Zuug, but, you know, I never thought you should—
[Ambassador interrupts him.] All right. Let us say 50.
[Vir again.] 50.
[There’s a wry, sarcastic edge to Ambassador’s voice.] Now. Out of that 50. How many gods do you think I must have offended to have ended up with ---‘s teeth buried so deeply in my throat that I can barely breathe?
[A beat.] All of them?
Sounds right. [Ambassador sounded tired.] And now I have to go back to the Council and explain to them that in the interest of peace the Centauri government will agree to “give” Quadrant 37 to the ---. [He sighed.] I think I will stick my head in the station’s fusion reactor. It would be quicker. And I suspect, after a while, I might even come to enjoy it!
[Vir sounded very unsure.] Ambassador, why—
[Ambassador ignored the attempted interruption.] But this, this. This, this is like being… nibbled to death by, uh… [He makes an annoyed noise.] What are those Earth creatures called? Feathers. Long bill. Webbed feet. Go quack.
[There’s a pause, and then Vir sounded triumphant.] Cats!
Cats. [Ambassador sounded disgusted.] I’m being nibbled to death by cats.
Vir. How many gods are there in our pantheon? I have lost count, since the last emperor was elevated to godhood.
[A much younger male voice answers him. It’s nervous and anxious and sounds a little flustered.] 48. No, no, 49. 50, if you count Zuug, but, you know, I never thought you should—
[Ambassador interrupts him.] All right. Let us say 50.
[Vir again.] 50.
[There’s a wry, sarcastic edge to Ambassador’s voice.] Now. Out of that 50. How many gods do you think I must have offended to have ended up with ---‘s teeth buried so deeply in my throat that I can barely breathe?
[A beat.] All of them?
Sounds right. [Ambassador sounded tired.] And now I have to go back to the Council and explain to them that in the interest of peace the Centauri government will agree to “give” Quadrant 37 to the ---. [He sighed.] I think I will stick my head in the station’s fusion reactor. It would be quicker. And I suspect, after a while, I might even come to enjoy it!
[Vir sounded very unsure.] Ambassador, why—
[Ambassador ignored the attempted interruption.] But this, this. This, this is like being… nibbled to death by, uh… [He makes an annoyed noise.] What are those Earth creatures called? Feathers. Long bill. Webbed feet. Go quack.
[There’s a pause, and then Vir sounded triumphant.] Cats!
Cats. [Ambassador sounded disgusted.] I’m being nibbled to death by cats.
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I do not believe you are thinking of cats, Ambassador-san.
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[He sounds confused. That's what he's thought were cats all along.]
It sounds like them. A writer on the network was speaking of his only recently, though I hardly know why one would keep them, no.
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I've never met any cats that have those things.
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[There's a meow in the background. She's obviously smiling as she goes on.]
Fur, long tails, sharp teeth and claws.
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And cats are far worse than ducks. At least if a duck gets too annoying you can have it for dinner.
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[There is a laugh.]
By the sounds of that, we cannot even keep them straight. 50, it is quite enough.
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And so my name, it is shown to fit well, is it not, my dear Stellaris?
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pinged again XD
...I'm glad you didn't stick your head in a reactor.
LOL!
As am I. I think that I would not enjoy it, no matter how long I was there.
gosh, Ambassador, she should just follow you everywhere
This is clearly the answer to everything.
She'll end up thinking she's from the same place as him.
This could be awesome.
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Fifty, huh? Impressive, offending that many in one go.
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Are you not human, my good boy?
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