12 Purple Files - Audio Memory

[proudambassador]

[A heavy sigh is the first thing that’s heard before Ambassador’s voice speaks.]
Vir. How many gods are there in our pantheon? I have lost count, since the last emperor was elevated to godhood.

[A much younger male voice answers him. It’s nervous and anxious and sounds a little flustered.] 48. No, no, 49. 50, if you count Zuug, but, you know, I never thought you should—

[Ambassador interrupts him.] All right. Let us say 50.

[Vir again.] 50.

[There’s a wry, sarcastic edge to Ambassador’s voice.] Now. Out of that 50. How many gods do you think I must have offended to have ended up with ---‘s teeth buried so deeply in my throat that I can barely breathe?

[A beat.] All of them?

Sounds right. [Ambassador sounded tired.] And now I have to go back to the Council and explain to them that in the interest of peace the Centauri government will agree to “give” Quadrant 37 to the ---. [He sighed.] I think I will stick my head in the station’s fusion reactor. It would be quicker. And I suspect, after a while, I might even come to enjoy it!

[Vir sounded very unsure.] Ambassador, why—

[Ambassador ignored the attempted interruption.] But this, this. This, this is like being… nibbled to death by, uh… [He makes an annoyed noise.] What are those Earth creatures called? Feathers. Long bill. Webbed feet. Go quack.

[There’s a pause, and then Vir sounded triumphant.] Cats!

Cats. [Ambassador sounded disgusted.] I’m being nibbled to death by cats.

Comments

[wayofflowers.livejournal.com]

[There's what might be very, very muffled laughter there before she clears her throat slightly and speaks]

I do not believe you are thinking of cats, Ambassador-san.

[feathered-earth.livejournal.com]

[So most of that? She identified as political and the rest sailed right over her head.]

I've never met any cats that have those things.

[crimsonmischief]

Ah... I don't think 'cat' was the animal that matches that description.

[notamelonfucker.livejournal.com]

[There is a sound of wonder from Barry's end as he taps the radio, rather pleased to see this particular brand of technology.] I think those are ducks. How can you be nibbled to death by ducks?

[grab-my-bells.livejournal.com]

[Clearly you've already heard they're ducks by now] I'm sure cats would nibble you to death, too.

[white-disciple.livejournal.com]

Your pantheon has only 50 gods, stranger?

[lingeringlegacy]

A glimpse of life as an ambassador?

pinged again XD

[bluepoppyfields.livejournal.com]

So you are from a polytheistic society.

...I'm glad you didn't stick your head in a reactor.

[poisondango.livejournal.com]

[Oooo interesting technology]

Fifty, huh? Impressive, offending that many in one go.

[remember_cephiro]

I empathize with you, despite not knowing what a fusion reactor is. Or a cat.