12 Purple Files - Audio Memory

[proudambassador]

[A heavy sigh is the first thing that’s heard before Ambassador’s voice speaks.]
Vir. How many gods are there in our pantheon? I have lost count, since the last emperor was elevated to godhood.

[A much younger male voice answers him. It’s nervous and anxious and sounds a little flustered.] 48. No, no, 49. 50, if you count Zuug, but, you know, I never thought you should—

[Ambassador interrupts him.] All right. Let us say 50.

[Vir again.] 50.

[There’s a wry, sarcastic edge to Ambassador’s voice.] Now. Out of that 50. How many gods do you think I must have offended to have ended up with ---‘s teeth buried so deeply in my throat that I can barely breathe?

[A beat.] All of them?

Sounds right. [Ambassador sounded tired.] And now I have to go back to the Council and explain to them that in the interest of peace the Centauri government will agree to “give” Quadrant 37 to the ---. [He sighed.] I think I will stick my head in the station’s fusion reactor. It would be quicker. And I suspect, after a while, I might even come to enjoy it!

[Vir sounded very unsure.] Ambassador, why—

[Ambassador ignored the attempted interruption.] But this, this. This, this is like being… nibbled to death by, uh… [He makes an annoyed noise.] What are those Earth creatures called? Feathers. Long bill. Webbed feet. Go quack.

[There’s a pause, and then Vir sounded triumphant.] Cats!

Cats. [Ambassador sounded disgusted.] I’m being nibbled to death by cats.

Comments

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

We do. Myself, I am glad to have one less. Two less. No, no, three less.

[wayofflowers.livejournal.com]

Oh?

[Yeah, she's curious]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

The first, it is my species. I am Centauri. The second, the name of my aide. Vir. And now, now I know one thing more about my people - we have 50 gods. It is comforting to have something of one's home, no? Aside from one teddy bear.

[wayofflowers.livejournal.com]

I see. You are not human, then?

[Somehow this seems less surprising than it should]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

No, no. You have seen me, yes? My hair, it is naturally like this. I do not understand how hair can lay down like it does for so many.

[wayofflowers.livejournal.com]

Hm. I suppose it never struck me as unusual for some reason.

[lololol Bleach hair]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

That is just one of the differences. When the rumors said six, they meant six. I have only found out since arriving that for most, one, it is all they have.

[wayofflowers.livejournal.com]

Oh? That must make things...very interesting in bed, then.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Oh, but of course. And yet I still have not found a single female of my race here. Most disappointing, I tell you.

And there are the food differences, and so many other little things make sense to so many others but not myself. This, it is a human-based place. And yet, for all that, sometimes I think it is not entirely strange.

[wayofflowers.livejournal.com]

You must come from a very interesting place indeed, then. I think even us humans find this place strange.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

And one day, perhaps I shall know more.

[wayofflowers.livejournal.com]

I hope so - and that all of us know more, some day.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

If we are to dream, let us dream big, my good woman. Home. That would be a good place to be.

[wayofflowers.livejournal.com]

[There's a small, light chuckle at that]

Indeed, it would.