13 Purple Files

[proudambassador]

[The writing is messy, as the writer is being jostled quite a bit. It probably wouldn't be recognizable if the sentence structure wasn't so distinct.]

This, it is ridiculous! There have been ridiculous things before, but this, it is the most! My chair will not stop! I cannot sit without them taking off and playing music of all things!

I need a gun. To SHOOT MY CHAIRS. EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM. If they are shot, they cannot run, hm? Or must I leash them now?

This is the most undignified, ludicrous, utterly stupid thing that has ever happened in this Sphere.

I think I begin to hate my life.

[[ooc: Musical chairs event. Ambassador is currently a hostage of one of his sturdier table chairs. Feel free to see/laugh/mock/be in the path.]]

Comments

[offline OF EPIC]

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

[Oh good! There is now a cheerful little Chinese kid - maybe six and scrawny for his age - watching the chair from the doorway of a shop, carefully studying its speed and trajectory. And then, timing it perfectly, he leaps right into poor Ambassador's lap.

This is the least civilized and polite thing that Huo has done in ever. It feels kind of nice.]

[offline OF EPIC]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

What?

[It's a cry of outrage. Ambassador at first thinks he's under assault, as if the chair isn't bad enough. Then it sinks in what's happening.]

Do I look like, like, like a carnival ride? No! I do not! I am trapped! I am no pony! Whose even are you?

[offline OF EPIC]

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

I'm the Tree's!

[He may be tiny now, but Huo is still quite capable of understanding that if Ambassador knew who he really was, well, he'd probably strangle him bare-handed. So he just holds on and grins widely.]

It's not nice of you not to share the fun!

[offline OF EPIC]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, you are the Tree's, I am the Tree's, we are all stuck here, but you must belong to someone, you damnable little...

[He'd have more insults if he wasn't so pissed off and yet aware of the fact that he couldn't do anything. His only option was flinging the kid off, and Ambassador's not about to leap off himself. He can't quite bring himself to throw the child. Not quite.]

Fun? This, it is hardly fun. It is an annoyance. It is more than an annoyance.

[offline OF EPIC]

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

Of course it's not fun if you don't let it be!

[And it is. A lot of fun. Even if he has to act the age he looks and ride a decidedly grumpy adult for it. The chair goes fast and is virtually unstoppable. Huo likesfast unstoppable things.]

Just sit back and stop worrying! [He glances back with the most angelic little smile he can manage. Surely Ambassador is not so heartless as to toss off such a cute kid?]

[offline OF EPIC] Stocking = Stockholme. Ambassador's bound to mess up some locations, hee.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Let? Let an abduction be fun? That, it leads to Stocking Syndrome, and that, I will not be a part of.

[It was not fun, at all, and Ambassador hates optimists when he wants to be grumpy. He especially hates ones that he can't quite justify getting out of his way, either. He's almost heartless enough. Almost.]

Stop worrying. My chair, it is running away with me. I have run over people. And I am to sit back and stop worrying? It must be nice to be so simple and not very aware of the world, hm? What is your name, little annoyance?

[offline OF EPIC] Especially considering the circumstances~

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

You're not stocking anything, Mister.

[What? He's a logical kid! And a considerate one, and so arranges himself more comfortably on Ambassador's knees, making sure that his rather long and flyaway hair doesn't get in the other's face.]

I'm Moth. Because of the cocoon. 'Butterfly' was too long. [Simplest lie he ever told.] Can't you tell it where to go? We need reins!

[offline OF EPIC] Oh yes.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Of course I am not! Do you see stockings on me? No! You do not! And I will not have anything to do with them!

[Considerate nothing. Little kids seem to all be skin and bones, and Huo's bony butt isn't going to be comfortable in any way. Ambassador batts the hair away from his face.]

Pah. You need a haircut, Moth. Unless I am to use your hair as reins. Perhaps that will help, hm? It will make it better for me, I am sure.

[offline OF EPIC]

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

I don't need a haircut. ['Moth' sounds vaguely horrified, working hard to gather his hair.] That's disrespectful!

[Well, that came out a little unplanned - things have been doing that since his brain became so mismatched with his body, so he supplements it with a rather more childish: Don't you know anything?

[offline OF EPIC]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Your hair, it is out of control. Mine, it stands properly. It does not get in someone else's face like yours!

And I know more than you! A great deal! Like not to jump onto someone who is already inconvenienced!

[He was not about to spare a child. Certainly not an annoying one.]

[offline OF EPIC]

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

[Looks like the usual sticks are wearing themselves thin. It's time to break out something a bit stronger.

Like the first hint of tears, for once.]

I j-just wanted a fun ride...

[offline OF EPIC]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Crying? You are now crying? Do not even think to get your tears on my clothes, or I will shove you off.

[Ambassador hadn't the faintest idea what to do with a crying child. By this point he's utterly convinced that he never, ever wants to have a child of his own.]

What even do you want, you infernal crow-voiced annoyance?

Re: [offline OF EPIC]

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

I wanted a ride. [In the plaintive voice of a child bravely holding back his tears in the face of adversity.] I'm sorry I didn't ask. I'm really sorry. Please don't throw me off.

[offline OF EPIC]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Pah! Whatever. Stop crying, or I shall fling you off and be done with you. [He really, really doesn't know what to do with kids. And he thinks he might hate kids.] You should have asked because it is rude to just leap onto someone, but now we both are stuck because I cannot get off this thing with you here and you, you are too scared to jump.

[Maybe Moth was. And maybe he'd respond to that by protesting he was brave and then proving it.]

Re: [offline OF EPIC]

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

[Unfortunately for Ambassador, 'Moth' is scared to jump not because he is six but because he has a pretty good handle on physics and what happens when they meet a six years old's fragile body.]

Can I wait until we pass by something soft? [He asks in a tiny voice.]

[offline OF EPIC]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Soft? Soft? What is soft here? Fine. Whatever. [He's peeved, but he knows full well that he'd want something soft too.]

We will wait. But the first thing that is soft, you will be jumping onto. And I do not count as something soft. We are clear?

[offline OF EPIC]

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

[Huo nodded quite vigorously. Perfectly clear. Especially since soft could be pretty subjective.]

Thank you, Mister. You're nice.

[Let him Ambassador deal with that.]

[offline OF EPIC]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Hah. Nice. If you do not jump, I will shove. I am not nice. I will never be nice. Do not let yourself be deluded.

[He didn't want the pressure of being looked at as nice. It was too much of a burden. Being looked at as an annoyance meant no pressure.]

[offline OF EPIC]

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

You didn't push me yet!

[That was very definitely pushing it, but Huo had been in a pushing-it mood roughly from the moment the event had begun. And conveniently enough, they were just passing a stall selling woven carpets.]

Thanks for the ride, Mister! See you around!

[And just to finish off, he grabbed Ambassador in a quick hug, and leaped off.]

[offline OF EPIC]

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Never hug me again!

[They weren't the best last words ever, but they would do. They would have to do, because the little annoyance was gone for now, and Ambassador sped onward, looking for a soft place to dismount for himself.]