13 Purple Files

[proudambassador]

[The writing is messy, as the writer is being jostled quite a bit. It probably wouldn't be recognizable if the sentence structure wasn't so distinct.]

This, it is ridiculous! There have been ridiculous things before, but this, it is the most! My chair will not stop! I cannot sit without them taking off and playing music of all things!

I need a gun. To SHOOT MY CHAIRS. EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM. If they are shot, they cannot run, hm? Or must I leash them now?

This is the most undignified, ludicrous, utterly stupid thing that has ever happened in this Sphere.

I think I begin to hate my life.

[[ooc: Musical chairs event. Ambassador is currently a hostage of one of his sturdier table chairs. Feel free to see/laugh/mock/be in the path.]]

Comments

ping!

[white-disciple.livejournal.com]

Furniture that moves? Perhaps you should be glad they're only running away from you, Ambassador.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Away from? My good Rauxes, I would be happy, no, delighted, no, overjoyed if they merely ran away from me.

These, they run away with me!

[white-disciple.livejournal.com]

Oh my... well I only meant that at least they aren't actively trying to hurt you, as convenient as it all is.

[bal-daisy.livejournal.com]

I remember that!

I thought it was fun.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Fun? Fun? My good Krile. If it came with a padded mat, yes. Here, I have no control.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Convenient? My chair, it is running. While I am sitting. I think it would like to hurt me.

[live_ringer]

You think it's ridiculous? Try being on the receiving end.

And believe me, I was very, very tempted to shoot.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, at least you had control over your legs, hm? I am somewhat sorry, my good man, but perhaps dodging, it would be an idea?

[white-disciple.livejournal.com]

I meant inconveient, sorry. I can't use the excuse my pencil ran away from me, though.

A table could be trying to bash your head in, or a coat hanger. Your chairs sound much less harmful by comparison.

[live_ringer]

Dodging in time entails knowing it's coming. For a heavy guy on a chair, you sure zipped around that corner quickly.

And really, is there anything keeping you on that thing?

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Ah yes. The 'it could be worse' example. And yet, those things are not happening, so they are hardly valid here. Forced optimism, it is a dull and obnoxious thing.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

The shouts of "Stop, stop, you bastard son of a thrice-damned peasant" were not warning?

The chair, it has arms. And I am clinging to them with all of my might since I do not care to be flung off an island.

[live_ringer]

Considering it happened in the Bazaar, I thought it was someone getting robbed.

Never tried jumping and rolling away when there wasn't an island in sight? Might have saved you a trip or two.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

I am being robbed! Of my dignity!

Jump and roll? My dear Gene, is this another jibe at my size? Look at him, he's rotund, he must have lots of padding to roll with?

[live_ringer]

Yeah, I hear that's a common occurrence here.

Jump, tuck, and roll is standard procedure for exiting a moving vehicle with minimal injury. Sort of a one size fits all deal.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

One day, our revenge, we will have, hm?

A moving vehicle? Into the vacuum of space? Why would you roll? You float.

[lingeringlegacy]

Does it happen with any chair?

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Any chair, my dear Stellaris, that I sit in. So. I am, it seems, supposed to sit on the floor alone. And this, I do not appreciate.

[live_ringer]

One can hope.

...A moving vehicle that's close to the ground. Space crafts tend to have evacuation pods for that sort of thing. [Small pause, and then.] You've traveled in many space vehicles, have you?

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Why would you have a vehicle close to the ground? Surely it would hit things. Unless you are crashing onto a planet? And the pod, it does the landing for you.

I am from a space station. This, I have even seen.

[lingeringlegacy]

I see. Would we need to reschedule our teahouse trip?

[viva-la-materia.livejournal.com]

They don't fly, do they?

[live_ringer]

It's for traveling across the ground. You know, set on wheels and propelled so that it rolls on them?

Huh, haven't run across many others familiar with space travel.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Are there cushions?

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

My good person. Do not give them ideas. The last thing it needs to do, on top of this, is fly, hm?