Londo Mollari

This is ludicrous.

I will not be shoved into a room full of people and expected to share a tiny room. No.

I will work. Anything, to get out of this room.

Except I will not work with animals. They are filthy creatures, and I do not like getting dirty. Nor will I clean. I am not the cleaning type, no.

I am also not built for combat. It is not my thing, I think is said. Running, exertion, wastes. All of them.

I know nothing of medicine. That would be a bad fit, yes.

There should be things left? With good housing. I will have my own room. One way or another.

[There's a pause in the writing.]

What, exactly, is left?

[Londo is smiling and nodding as he sips his wine.]

Yes, yes, this, I remember. Adira. You ever were a joy. But these... discs. They have chosen oddly what scenes to show and what ones not to show. Hm.

[He holds up several DVDs, peering at each in turn. With a shrug, he pick one at random and puts it in, smiling at the opening.]

I do not know who this Peter Jurasik is, but he is a good looking fellow, hm?

[Londo chuckles to himself and refills his glass, watching.]

I am not altogether certain I understand this correctly, hm? Earther is not my first language, so I am seeing words that seem random, yes? Where normally such users would be swearing? This is what the Animus have done this time? I will say this, it could be worse. We are still able to talk, hm? And guesses can be made at what is being said, that they can.

Unless this is an Earther holiday I do not know about. But the Animus spoke. I think that has meaning.

For those who are entirely frustrated, which I suppose many would be, you could perhaps carry signs with the words you wish to say. Or you could resort to what is most simple, a growl of anger. Everyone understands that, no?

[A crest of hair can be seen over a counter's edge. Two darts are stuck in it. Slowly Londo peeks over the edge of the counter again, only to have dice fly at him. Back down he goes.]

I thought I knew hate before I got here, yes? I did not. The Narns have nothing on the Animus. At least you can avoid Narns! Besides G'Kar. No, you cannot avoid G'Kar. Always just there. Grinning. No, smirking.

Great Maker, I hate G'Kar.

And now, now? I hste the Animus more. I would trade them for G'Kar, that is how bad this is! I would even take G'Kar and Na'Toth! What I would take, to no longer be trapped. Dice attacking me, my own roulette table chasing me... I have done nothing to you!

[A fist is waved over the counter. Dice fly at it, and he pulls it down just in time.]

Of course the wine would be on the other side of the room. With my coat, with my PCD. Of course. Nothing is simple here, no. Never.

So this week, we are supposed to run around half-naked and jump into water?

I think I will not be participating in this, hm? I do not want to scar so many people at once. Do ask the good man who had my body. No, no, I think the Great Maker would quite understand my reluctance to be a part of such a thing, yes? Be it given to us by the spirits here or not.

Instead, I will remain fully dressed. I do this for myself as much as for all of you, out of the goodness of my heart. You should thank me, yes? This way, you still get to keep all of your women, and the white of my skin does not strike blind the entire population.

[The PCD shows Londo seated next to Yachiru at a long table with boards to make up the side.] The point, you see, is to not roll two ones, which is called snake eyes, yes? You want a seven, or an eleven.

[Yachiru is watching Londo with wide, rapt eyes, nodding at his explanation.] Okee, so's when I roll the dice they gotta add up to seven or eleven, and one is bad?

[He shakes his head, smiling.] Two ones is bad, which makes a total of two. One and one is two, hm? You cannot get one from two dice. If they add up to seven or eleven, you win. If it is a two, three, or twelve, you lose. Other numbers are fine, but you do not win from them. Two is simply the worst of them all.

[She grins, obviously pleased she understood.] I think I got it, but this is real complicated! All these numbers t' remember! I just wanted to play a game, not get a math lesson! When d' we get to throw the dice, huh?

[Londo picks up two glasses and pours a lot of water in one before adding wine to both. He brings them over and gives her the watered-down one.] If you wish, I shall keep track of the numbers. You may throw the dice whenever you wish to, my dear girl.

[Yachiru picks up the drink, taking a hearty gulp and smacking her lips happily.]
That tastes real good! Okee, if ya don' mind keepin' track that'd be cool! Ne, let's see what I get! [She picks up the dice, giving a quick shake and letting them fly with her eyes closed.] What'd I get?

[Londo nods in satisfaction.] It does, does it not? One of the better vintages I have found, not one of the dry ones. [He sips his own glass and watches the dice roll] Haha! Perfection on your first try! A five and a two make seven. Well done! You hardly need any training at all!

[Yachiru grins, happy for the positive reinforcement.] How do I know if a drink is dry 'r not? It tastes pretty wet t' me! [She opened her eyes, looking at the dice in shock.] Yay! So's I won that time?

Dry... [Londo pauses, trying to think of how to explain it to her in a way she'd understand.] Dry, my darling Yachiru, refers to the taste after. Some drinks, when you have them, make you more thirsty, yes? I am not so much a fan of that. And yes, you did win. You are a natural!

[The PCD times out]

[Londo is standing in front of a machine, finishing polishing it up. He turns and smiles widely at the PCD.]

I have found what I was most looking for. A slot machine!

[Proudly he gestures towards the shining device.]

Long and hard have I looked for one of these. They are some of my favorite ways to gamble, yes? This and dice. And now, I have found one. It is a good day here in the city, hm? How it works, is you put coins in the slot here...

[His voice trails off as he eyes the machine.]

Except we do not have coins. Or credits. We have nothing.

[Londo sighs, drops the cleaning cloth, and reaches for the PCD.]

Great Maker, is there no end to the inconveniences of this city?

[The feed ends.]

My roof is leaking. But, but! This time, I still have a roof, yes? The last time, it left. And I was stuck facing a creature I would rather not see again. This time, there is water dripping down when I least expect it, wherever it feels I would least enjoy it, but the creatures are outside, and this is a very good change.

I hope the casino is still there. But I am not going out there to check. If Vir were here, he would. He runs faster, and when such monstrosities are going around, prowling through our streets, it is better to send the faster Centauri, no? The younger, more spry one. Also, he is resourceful. Abrahamo Lincolni, I ask you...

But I have 'potato chips,' which are edible, more or less, and canned mushy green round things. There was no label on the can. I suspect it was unlabeled since people would not eat them if they were warned of what the can contained. But once it is opened and you are hungry, then you are stuck, no? Humans are often like that.

I suppose it is time to go back to making sure the drips do not put out my little fire, yes? I would not like to see that go out.

I would like the city to know that a very good friend of mine is here, my good, dear Ambassador Delenn. She is very much not like me, being reserved and Minbari, but I hope that you will treat her with courtesy. But her presence here does make me wonder as to why I myself am here. While the city does need a casino, which I am still working on, that need in itself should not have been strong enough to bring me here.

But even as I wondered, the answer has come to me. I am the ambassador of my people. I negotiate. There are many people with many issues here, and some of those issues are with each other. Should you need negotiation or representation, why, you need only to ask and bring a bottle of something good. I will accept many types of wine or spirits in payment.

One cannot be one with the Great Maker with only a glassful of brandy, no.