12 Purple Files - Audio Memory

[proudambassador]

[A heavy sigh is the first thing that’s heard before Ambassador’s voice speaks.]
Vir. How many gods are there in our pantheon? I have lost count, since the last emperor was elevated to godhood.

[A much younger male voice answers him. It’s nervous and anxious and sounds a little flustered.] 48. No, no, 49. 50, if you count Zuug, but, you know, I never thought you should—

[Ambassador interrupts him.] All right. Let us say 50.

[Vir again.] 50.

[There’s a wry, sarcastic edge to Ambassador’s voice.] Now. Out of that 50. How many gods do you think I must have offended to have ended up with ---‘s teeth buried so deeply in my throat that I can barely breathe?

[A beat.] All of them?

Sounds right. [Ambassador sounded tired.] And now I have to go back to the Council and explain to them that in the interest of peace the Centauri government will agree to “give” Quadrant 37 to the ---. [He sighed.] I think I will stick my head in the station’s fusion reactor. It would be quicker. And I suspect, after a while, I might even come to enjoy it!

[Vir sounded very unsure.] Ambassador, why—

[Ambassador ignored the attempted interruption.] But this, this. This, this is like being… nibbled to death by, uh… [He makes an annoyed noise.] What are those Earth creatures called? Feathers. Long bill. Webbed feet. Go quack.

[There’s a pause, and then Vir sounded triumphant.] Cats!

Cats. [Ambassador sounded disgusted.] I’m being nibbled to death by cats.

Comments

LOL!

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

It would seem so, my dear woman.

As am I. I think that I would not enjoy it, no matter how long I was there.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Oh, but of course. And yet I still have not found a single female of my race here. Most disappointing, I tell you.

And there are the food differences, and so many other little things make sense to so many others but not myself. This, it is a human-based place. And yet, for all that, sometimes I think it is not entirely strange.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Oh. No, I do not think it does. Humans are humans, hm?

[There's an amused hm.]

It does sound it, my good Krile. This, it is part of the reason I do not think I will take on any pets.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

So that, it is a cat. I see. And I thank you, my good Crimson.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

No? If they were determined? Anything can kill, if it is determined, I believe.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Ah, of course. My dear Rauxes, then.

gosh, Ambassador, she should just follow you everywhere

[bluepoppyfields.livejournal.com]

The concept is not unfamiliar to me, I admit.

It wouldn't have ended well. [chuckles]

This is clearly the answer to everything.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

No? Now that I have heard it, I know that it is not to me either.

[A matching chuckle.] It is safe to say, I think, that it would not, no.

[white-disciple.livejournal.com]

And you are... Ambassador, I think I heard?

She'll end up thinking she's from the same place as him.

[bluepoppyfields.livejournal.com]

At the least you'd have lost all your looks.

[lingeringlegacy]

Good or not, I can't imagine brokering peace to be an easy task. So as long as your intentions are sincere, it is commendable.

[poisondango.livejournal.com]

[Oooo interesting technology]

Fifty, huh? Impressive, offending that many in one go.

[crimsonmischief]

My pleasure, my good Ambassador-san~!

This could be awesome.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, and we can't have that, my good Theosis.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Yes. My title and my name, double duty, it does.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

That is the question, is it not? I know what they were, what I wanted, but was that proper? I know not.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Myself, I am most talented.

[lingeringlegacy]

What was it that you wanted?

[wayofflowers.livejournal.com]

You must come from a very interesting place indeed, then. I think even us humans find this place strange.

[remember_cephiro]

I empathize with you, despite not knowing what a fusion reactor is. Or a cat.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

And one day, perhaps I shall know more.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

That, I answered in my dream. It is a complicated question, my dear girl. Perhaps it can be our topic when time has been found for an outing with you and I, hm?

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

A fusion reactor, it is something that gives power. And a cat, my good Mr. Crimson has drawn. [He draws an arrow up to that comment thread.]

Are you not human, my good boy?

[remember_cephiro]

Oh, I've seen those before! Cats, not fusion reactors. I'm glad you didn't stick your head in one, though - fusion reactor, not cat. Although, please don't stick your head in a cat, either.

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that classification. On my world we only have pixies, spirits, and people.

[lingeringlegacy]

That's an agreeable suggestion. Do you have any specific destination in mind?