Nine Purple Files

[proudambassador]

The high scores on the games of chance here, in this Wilderness, I have beaten. The shooting games I am decent at, but the others, I find I do not understand them. Why would one dodge a monkey throwing barrels? Why would aliens attack in neat little rows so you can shoot them? One defender, they could not fight that many, no.

A more important question, why is there no alcohol here? Surely, if you are fighting monkeys, or pushing buttons to fight, to enjoy it you must be a little tipsy, hm? Rum. That, it goes well with Coke, no? And there is much Coke here.

I will pay someone to bring rum down here. And then, we may share it and play, yes?

Comments

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

I believe that the purpose is to develop such skills as swiftness, focus and coordination. It's most ingenious. Dodging barrels thrown by a monkey sounds much more entertaining than dodging arrows fired by one's merciless drill sergeant.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Arrows? My good person, who gets shot at with arrows by an ally? And finds it entertaining?

No, no. Far better to enjoy the comforts of life than dodge any outrageous arrows or barrels, hm?

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

A point I cannot possibly contest. Barrels are poor weapons, either way.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

Yes. They are. Perhaps that is why the monkey is using them, hm?

[getsome-sleep.livejournal.com]

Monkeys are not known for their tactical expertise.

[proudambassador.livejournal.com]

They are more known for throwing whatever is at hand, no?