proudambassador | 17 Purple Files

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17 Purple Files

Londo of House Mollari. That is who I am. I do not know if it is a thing to be celebrated, finding this out. The knowledge that came with it, it is heavy. What does one think, and do, when they are not sure they wish to know more about who they are, but cannot abide being utterly ignorant?

I am an ambassador, and I am a very bad friend, and I do not think I like myself all that much.

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[She sees the comments below, and thinks for a long time before responding.]

~~If you desire someone to talk to, I can empathize with this situation.~~

I am a very boring Centauri that complains a great deal. But if this, and what I have written, do not bother you, then do come over.

Where could I find you?

My house, it is in section three, number [].

I'll be over in a while.

[ooc: ql/log/handwave?]

Take your time. I am hardly going anywhere.

[ooc: quicklog? :D I'm about to go to bed but I can do more tomorrow.]

[After a time, she comes to his house, trying to think of what to say. It wasn't much she was offering but empathy and someone to listen, and sometimes it made it better. Edensphere had changed her like that, made her want to share problems with others when the occasion arose. Sure, she wasn't going to explicitly confess over the journals, but selectively sharing moments wasn't a bad thing, especially when accompanied by that strange creature, regret. Juliet knocked on the door, hoping her nervousness didn't show.]

[He wouldn't have blamed her if she hadn't come. Ambassador wasn't so sure that he would want to go to the house of a self-professed killer. At the knock he went to the door and opened it, pleasantly surprised that it was a guest as opposed to a mob with pitchforks.]

Do come in, yes? Unless you are at the wrong house.

If you're Mr. Londo, no, I am not. I'm Juliet.

[At this point she realized that there wasn't a really delicate way to bring up the point of discussion. But she accepted the invitation to come in, more curious about the person who lived there than the house itself. She'd spoken to him over journals before, but if she had seen him, she had no recollection. Who was he, and why did he feel like he must share that moment of his life over the journals?]

[Ambassador nodded and closed the door behind her.]

Juliet. I have written with you over the journals before, no? And so you have come over, because I have my name, or because of the other thing? What do you want, hm? That, it is a question to be asked of us all. What do we want.

But with a more simple want, we shall start. Would you like a drink?

I came for them both. For one to offer congratulations, for the other to offer, as I wrote, empathy. As for what I want, at the moment, it is nothing more than that.

A drink would be lovely, thank you.

[He sighed and nodded as he went to poke his head in the fridge.] I have a strange orange juice that is called just that, orange, I have water, and then I have a great many more interesting drinks of various alcoholic strengths. Which would you prefer?

And... I thank you, for the congratulations, though it is not as if I did anything to get my name. I was taken by the elevator, a toy, tossed where whatever hand wished to toss me.

I don't really have a preference, so whatever you choose, I'll be fine with. [Though she was secretly hoping he went for the alcohol, it would be easier to talk with a bit of that in her system.]

Stole you away, didn't it. It does that randomly...it's never good. Though a name is a precious thing, a key to who you once were. The great difference between there and here is that you can choose to return to it, or keep using the name you chose for yourself.

If you are not choosing, then I will go with my preference, hm? [As he spoke he unstoppered one of the wine bottles and filled two glasses, bringing them over. He offered one to her before taking a seat semi-near her on his couch.]

Never good. I will believe that. None of what we saw was good, I would not say. [He shook his head.] My name, I will keep. It is mine. This world, it has not changed me to the point where I will take what I chose in ignorance. I take it you too have seen what the elevator would show you?

Thank you. [She sipped at the wine and listened, wondering whether names really could be labeled as "chose in ignorance". But then, she knew she held unpopular opinions regarding the Sphere.]

I have seen it twice. [If she only counted the times her memories had been shown.] It seems to be a habit of this place to rarely show moments that one can like about themselves. Both moments I saw are one that I have no bit of pride in.

Of course, of course. [He waved a hand. He would want wine, it only make sense to share with Juliet.]

Twice. [Londo shook his head.] Once, it was more than enough. Myself, I would not want to be in your shoes for anything, no. And to think that it does this often. I begin to think that the Tree actively dislikes us. Perhaps we are parasites to it, hm?

[It was an easier topic than what he'd seen, but he knew why Juliet was here. Londo just didn't know what he felt about talking on what he'd seen.] Pride. No, there is no pride in it. There is only wondering. Could there be reason enough?

If we are parasites, why would it insist on bringing us here, reviving us if we have passed on? A strange form of dislike, to be so brutal and yet so kind.

[It was not her place to push, to demand answers from a past that likely hurt.] Reason enough to...? I'm sorry if I'm not quite understanding your words.

A good question. [He didn't have an answer for that. Londo's gaze went up from his cup to the other person in his house at the question.]

No, no, my dear girl. It is I who am unclear. The topic, it is complicated. Making sense, it is not easy. Could there be reason enough to take another's life? It gave his house some protection, I did say in what I saw, but he was dead. And he was my friend.

If you would allow what is likely going to be a strange opinion...

There are many reasons to take a life that are not classically morally wrong. A life for a life is a very basic example, or killing to survive. Revenge for a lost loved one can be argued in many cases, and sometimes even insanity is a defence.

I killed my friend because I could save her honour through her death. [As well as take revenge on her betrayal, but that wasn't the best example to prove a point.] It hurts to know that I had to, but she could die without flaw, without being blamed for our collective mistakes.

[He listened in silence, taking it in for a time.] To die without flaw. That, I do not know how to do. But a good reason? Yes, perhaps. Perhaps.

[Sipping from his glass, Londo thought.] I had to kill him, my friend. My good, dear friend. It was him or I. But it was not, in truth. For he was not trying to kill me, I do not think. Now that I see it in my mind.

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17 Purple Files

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